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i think i'm falling for him.

and i hate it. i have to be in control of everything.

oh well. it is what it is.

heavy shit.

sometimes when i think of life 5 months ago, when i was living out of my car super strung out on whatever copious amount of chemical i could get flowing through my veins, i often wonder if i hallucinated entire days. some of the shit that happened to me could only happen in a movie and i'm starting to wonder if it was even true.

that was some crazy shit.

i miss my exciting life.

sucked in.

i love the way my hip bones stick out after i havent eaten for a couple days...
it's awesome not being pregnant

hahaha. okay, every update from now on is jst going to be a status update as to whether or not i got knocked up. j/k

i like this guy and he says he likes me too but he's probably lying 'cause boys do that.

but if he's not lying then my shit's gonna be fucked up cuz i don't do so well in relationships.

with anyone.

guys, girls, whateva.

i hope i don't give in...boredom tends to blind my judgment.

Mar. 10th, 2011

fuck. i'm seriously done with this charlie sheen lifestyle i've been livin'

(probably until tomorrow)
it would really suck if i got pregnant.

what's the dealio yo?

remember me???

to anyone still reading this: i'm sorry to neglect my journal and let twitter invade but i am not sure why i should even use this journal anymore, so i figured i might as well utilize it somehow. sometimes i get a sudden urge to post something, but i end up being too lazy. promise i'll do something with this one day.

i really just wanted to use it to get whatever off my mind and not have to worry about people i know personally worrying/judging/being stupid about what i have to say and also having the luxury of receiving advice or empathy from people who don't know me on a extremely personal level (aka people online) but these days it seems like no one uses livejournal anymore. i lack the desire. what's making this different from a hand written journal? oh well.

i'll still do something with it one day. i had a couple ideas in mind, but is anyone even out thereeeee? haha.

My tweets

  • Fri, 01:40: last night's dream: me & my friends were strippers running a crime spree. we had machine guns + those clear stripper heels. no fuckin idea?
  • Fri, 02:48: weird/gross pic of me i took @ renee's place in jan.... http://twitpic.com/43fg11
  • Fri, 05:20: ah, memories! lol RT @kittun Dude...Stoked to spend the night on the streets of LA with all the other homeless people. GONNA BE A HOBOPARTY!


My tweets

  • Thu, 02:12: man, i love al yankovic. please follow him if you don't already. you'll thank me later! he's such a funny man! @alyankovic =]
  • Thu, 02:27: i just followed a shitton of my followers because i'm in a "sweet" mood. better impress me or you're dead. no pressure or anything. haha
  • Thu, 04:31: cannot WAIT to go to LA after i finish making my portfolio! i've been playing with makeup like a 3 year old for like a week now. =] excited.
  • Thu, 05:40: i put shots of espresso in my hot chocolate. so now it's officially a mocha. #pseudocoffeeafficionado
  • Thu, 06:59: i'm like a dude. i've this movie on mute. i'm just watching adrien brody with my itunes playing. haha. #perv
  • Thu, 07:04: do you act? — i do when i'm in LA! =] this applies to everyday life. gotta love being fake! http://4ms.me/eUxRF0
  • Thu, 07:07: i'm a great multitasker. hahaha j/k why are we so gross? i get it from you. RT @kittun DJ Diddles?! ;p
  • Thu, 07:12: DUDE>> HE IS. SO. FUCKING. HOT. i love his method acting. hahaha i'm so full of shit. i've got a fetish for weird looking guys. #adrienbrody
  • Thu, 10:13: dude's trippin. just asked me why i didnt sneak him into my house. UH HELLO, i only do that ONCE a week. & we all now how that went. *wink*
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My tweets

  • Tue, 12:22: not sure what made you decide to txt me & how that would lead to you spending the night but you're cute & i still have a weird crush on you.
  • Tue, 13:41: why's everyone all into dubstep now, like it's new? i've been into dubstep/d&b/jungle for over a decade. i guess i'm too cool to understand.
  • Wed, 05:03: i've got an affinity for the smell of rubbing alcohol. maybe that's why i'm always hittin the cheap the vodka. nah, jk. i'm just sad/poor.
  • Wed, 05:03: RT @ConanOBrien: Only in L.A.... I just saw a sign that said, “Welcome to Los Angeles.”
  • Wed, 05:30: just cleaned my makeup brushes. usually too lazy to but i'm trying to be a professional one day. suck it up chrissy. i'm READY TO ROCK! =]
  • Wed, 08:04: Apparently, he's due for rabies? #nicewording http://twitpic.com/42tr6x